10 Questionable Motorcycle Products You Can Actually Buy

A selection of the weird and not so wonderful

Numerous good ideas have made their way from concept to reality over the years, but for every home run there’s also a swing and a miss. Here are 10 motorcycle-specific products that surely were designed with the best intentions in mind, but they might have come up a little bit short in the practicality and safety department.

Bar-End Spikes

Handlebar spikes
i5 Chrome Spike Bar Ends for Kawasaki NinjaCourtesy of the manufacturer

Can anyone else see the potential problem here? If you are preparing for the impending zombie apocalypse, I can see where these might come in handy for strafing unsuspecting walkers, but generally speaking these look like a great way to impale yourself during a get-off.

Yes, you've seen them dangling off the bars of a few bikes here and there. I've heard that they are supposed to help keep rain off your legs and a few other obscure functions. Overall, it looks like they would just whip the heck out of you, the bike or your passenger. These particularly wicked units with skulls and bullet shells attached to the ends look like trouble.

Wrist-Mounted Mirror

Wrist rear-view
Myklops Rear View MirrorCourtesy of the manufacturer

Just mount mirrors to your bike for crying out loud! Maybe this thing has purpose in an emergency for a long-distance rider, or perhaps as a backup for a dual-sport rider who is willing to push the envelope. But overall this product looks pretty comical.

Child Safety Harness

Child Harness
Jolik Child Motorcycle Safety HarnessCourtesy of the manufacturer

I'm sure their heart was in the right spot when they created this "child safety" device. You simply strap your kid to your own body so they won't fall off. I'm sure there are a few folks out there who might think this is a good idea, but it really is not. First of all, your passenger should always be old enough and strong enough to hang on to you or the bike. Otherwise they are merely an unwitting participant in your favorite pastime. I can only imagine a little kid, clinging to their parent's back while they hang wheelies for their YouTube channel. The risk just doesn't seem to outweigh the reward here with this "child safety" product.

Cupholder

Bike cupholder
Ram-Mount CupholderCourtesy of the manufacturer

In case you've been having a tough time deciding how to haul your glass of whiskey, I mean latte, down to the local bike night, here's a product that might help facilitate the plan next weekend. Seriously, though, I've seen folks on long-distance rides, with open-face helmets, sipping on a Big Gulp while they roll down the road in relative comfort. But something about this feels off. It could be a distraction; you definitely will not have both hands on the controls or your eyes on the road while you reach for the drink, take a sip, and put it back. Can you do it? Probably. But should you?

Furry Helmet Covers

Helmet cover
Moto Loot Helmet CoverCourtesy of the manufacturer

I can see the allure of this cute, cuddly helmet cover, but my gut instinct is that it has impending disaster written all over it. First you look like a goon and riding is supposed to be serious business. Plus, there is potential for that thing to obstruct your already limited vision even further. And that's if the cover works perfectly. What if it blows loose, the fabric rips, or some other unforeseen thing occurs? It could get ugly if your vision is suddenly impaired without warning. But they are cute.

Shifter Sock

Sock boot cover
Whitelotous Motorcycle Gear ShifterCourtesy of the manufacturer

Goodness gracious, someone out there rode their motorcycle while wearing such feeble shoes that they found this product was needed. Even worse, people must buy them because they are being copied like it's going out of style. That can't happen soon enough. The alternative is to wear durable riding gear, perhaps even boots that are tough enough to withstand the rigors of riding and actually shifting your bike. Now, I am sure there is an application where someone has white boots and the black smudge that develops on the top of the left foot can drive someone with OCD to do something irrational—like buying this funky little widget.

Another questionable mirror choice. I guess this could be useful if you were riding a dual-sport or ADV bike and had it stashed in a bag somewhere, just in case you wiped out your bike's mirrors. The funny thing is the marketing team behind this contraption really seems to believe it is capable of replacing mirrors on your motorcycle. A quick call to our local sheriff confirmed that while they would like to see you have some type of mirror, you will still get pulled over for not actually having mirrors affixed to your motorcycle. Beyond that it will be up to the discretion of the officer as to whether you'd receive a ticket.

Tailgunner exhaust

Gatling Gun Exhaust

Tailgunner USA TU4FRC-1Courtesy of the manufacturer

Not only are these corny but they cost a bunch of money. A slip-on for a sportbike will set you back $500, but a pair of Harley mufflers will run you close to 1,000 bucks. The faux barrels even spin like an empty mini-gun. Hurry, get these on my choppa! Honestly, who looks at that exhaust and thinks this is exactly what will complete their build? I guess it would look cool for someone with a warplane-themed motorcycle. Everyone else, not so much.

Costume Helmet

Costume Helmets
OSNICH Halloween Skull Style Decoration Half Face Motorcycle HelmetCourtesy of the manufacturer

The novelty helmet is nothing new, but the crazy designs that are popping up are real interesting, to say the least. The bad-boy skull face helmets, for example, will be seen all over Bike Week and Sturgis for sure. They even come with a DOT sticker so you can fake out the law. Those poor police officers, they probably won't see the humor in someone wearing a fake helmet with a fake DOT sticker, failing to save their life when they hit real, hard asphalt with their head. But, hey, at least you looked cool doing it.

I’m sure a few of you might have used your wrist mirror while riding with your 2-year-old kid strapped to your back, while cruising aboard your cruiser with spear point handlebar ends and drinking a latte from your cupholder will take offense to this list. But you would be too dense to find fault with any of these products, and there is no fixing stupid. Let us know what you think in the comments below. This should be fun.