I have to check the laws in regard to aiding and abetting. See, I've helped procure machines for a new Spike TV show, "Jesse James is a Dead Man," and if James does succeed in offing himself—seems likely given the video clips—I want to have my legal ducks in a row. I'm not going down like Dr. Jack Kevorkian here.
The phone conversations with Jesse go something like this: "Hey, man, I'm going to the Arctic Circle. Who do I call about getting a BMW R1200GS Adventure—and what do you know about spiked tires?" Or, "Do you have a contact at KTM; I'm entering the U.S. Hare Scrambles Championships at Laughlin."
The show puts James, 39, in a variety of life-snuffing situations—45-below bike rides, fully engulfed fire walks, figure-8 races, minefield slaloms, pickup truck flip-overs, 200-mph nitro Harley runs, etc. Ten 1-hour episodes are planned...if he makes it that long. "I checked 'Organ Donor' on my driver's license," Jesse says, "but I don't think there's gonna be anything left."
"Jesse James is a Dead Man" will air Sundays at 10 p.m. EST starting May 31. I'm laying low after that. If anything bad happens, talk to my lawyer.
—David Edwards
Jesse James is a Dead Man: Super Tease
Jesse James is a Dead Man: Exclusive Interview
THINK PINK Building a Breast Cancer Awareness Bike. 04.21.2009
Thankfully, the lump discovered in one of Joan Mernick's breasts turned out not to be cancer. But that scare 18 months ago put into motion a series of events that led to the blatantly pink Buell Blast you see here.
First, Joan got her motorcycle license, then husband John surprised her with a very used 2002 Buell—"Beaten, battered and abused," says Joan, "but I thought, 'Let's see what we can do with her.'"
Like almost every other family in America, she and John have lost friends and loved ones to breast cancer, so the direction for the Blast's re-do soon took shape. "I decided I wanted to do a breast cancer awareness theme, especially with more and more women riding every year," says Joan. "I know there's not a lot you can do with a Blast, but I tried to make her as sexy as I could."
With help from friend Eric Schroeder, owner of Tribal Iron Choppers in Fair Lawn, New Jersey, the Mernicks began work. Wheels, hand levers and foot controls were powdercoated a shade of pink that would do a Pepto-Bismol bottle proud, matching the paint on the gas tank and fenders. Airbrushed ribbons highlight the paintwork: Three on the tank read "Faith," "Love" and "Fight." On the tailsection there's "Imagine Life Without Breast Cancer" and the front fender's ribbon simply reads "Courage."
"Words of inspiration for all women," says Joan. The bike's vanity license plate is ONEN8 because one in eight women is diagnosed with breast cancer. "I have several runs planned for the bike this year, and if all goes well I should put about 3200 miles on her and hope to do more next year," she adds.
"The bike has received a lot of attention in the few short weeks it's been on the road," Joan says. "If one woman sees this bike and thinks to get checked, maybe it will save her life, and that's the best reward I can hope for. This bike is dedicated to all those who have lost the fight, and to all those who will not quit the fight. I named the bike 'The Awareness' and I hope it does just that, makes everyone aware."
Amen to that, Joan.
—David Edwards
For more information about breast cancer, visit www.komen.org.
THE HELIX STREAMLINING BLUES Craig Vetter MPG Progress Report. 04.13.2009
Our good friend Craig Vetter is at an impasse on his Freedom Machine project. What's a Freedom Machine, you ask? Well, it has to do with weaning ourselves from dependence on foreign oil, among other things, but, well, here's Craig...
"You are looking at a year of my work and it still isn't finished. The goal is ultimate fuel economy and rider comfort. I am trying for 100 mpg at 70 mph into a 20-mph headwind with four bags of groceries. Is it possible? I don't know yet. So far, I can get 64 mpg in these admittedly very tough conditions. Oh yes...in a garage full of vehicles, I want this to be so convenient, so easy to ride, so much fun and so comfortable that it is my first choice."
As it stands, with Honda Helix 250 scooter underpinnings, plastic school-notebook body cladding, $78 eBay Dodge Caravan headlights and Durante-esque nose cone, this is about as far as Vetter can go with the current iteration. View his 27 (and counting) website chapters on the build to follow the yellow streamliner's progress. Problem is, despite all the work, 100 mpg is still a ways off; heck, a stock Helix beater in the same conditions is returning 52 mpg, just 12 mpg less. What Craig wants now in a new base vehicle, one with bigger wheels and a standard (non-CVT) transmission so final-drive gearing can be altered. A motorcycle, in other words.
"I am at the end of road with my Helix. It is time to begin again. Do you have any productive suggestions?" he wrote me in a recent e-mail.
Ignoring the implication than any of my advice might be counter-productive, I suggested the 2009 Honda CRF230M, street-motard version of the 230 dual-purpose bike that in stock trim returned 93 mpg in our "Frugal Fuelers" article, albeit without four bags of suds-n-spuds in tow.
Whatever model he chooses next, I'm betting that the man who gave us modern touring bikes with his Windjammer line of fairings will wrap the thing in slippery bodywork that allows it to meet his lofty 100-mpg/70-mph goal.
"This would surely make it the Last Vetter Fairing," he says. "What else would there be to do?"
—David Edwards
Helix Streamlining, 1 Year Progress Update
GOOD CAUSE, GOOD RIDE Broc Glover's Breathe Easy charity run. 04.13.2009
No good deed goes unrewarded, they say, and my ride home a couple of Sundays ago was all the proof I need.
Earlier in the day, I'd ridden my Yamaha Warrior out to Temecula, California, to take part in the Breathe Easy Ride put on by former motocross great Broc Glover, whose 7-year-old son Dayne suffers from cystic fibrosis. I was in the company of several Yamaha employees putting their products to good use, including big-wig Bob Starr, plus Ken Boyko of Cobra USA fame and son Dustin, and CW Publisher Larry Little with wife Stephanie aboard our BMW K1300GT testbike.
The trip to the staring point in Temecula's Old Town was worth it just for the star-gazing. Glover's old buddies from the MX circuit were out in force, including Jeremy McGrath, Ricky Johnson, Mike Bell, Danny LaPorte, Ricky Johnson, David Bailey, Jeff Ward, Micky Dymond and Ron Lechien. Roadracing was well represented by Eddie Lawson, Wayne Rainey, Steve Rapp and (a mending) Neil Hodgson. Even likeable NASCAR mophead Boris Said was sitting at the table of legends signing autographs. Larry "Supermouth" Huffman handled the MC duties and presided over a charity auction of signed riding gear and memorabilia.
In all, some $77,000 was raised for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. My $50 standard-level entry fee put me on one of three self-guided rides—cruiser, sportbike or dual-sport. We took several hours to complete the 80-mile cruiser loop, stopping for a great lunch at the newly renovated Lake Henshaw Cafe.
When it was time to split for home, the rest of the group headed toward the coast and eventually the 5 Freeway. Not interested in that final drone, I broke off and headed for twisty Ortega Highway. I hadn't ridden the full length of Ortega in a couple of years due to a $40 million improvement project that had sections of the road closed down, causing lengthy delays. The road, widened and resurfaced, is now open, and I just have to say thank you, CalTrans! This was a very sympathetic renovation—all the curves remain, but sightlines around corners have been increased by moving the mountainside back in places and building overhangs in others.
By happy circumstance, I had the road almost to myself. The three cars I came upon pulled over at their first opportunity, using the new, easy-access turnouts. A glorious ride in the setting sun. Next year, Broc, I'm donating $100!
Missed the Breathe Easy Ride? You can still donate to the cause and give yourself a chance at owning the cool custom Star cruiser seen in the lead photo. Click here for more info on the bike and how to win it.
YELLOW, GOODBYE Avoiding the repo man with our long-term Ducati 1098. 04.09.2009
I guess it had to happen. Most of the moto "relationships" that take place here at CW are wonderful yet fleeting. Bikes come in, we get to hop on, ride for 1000 miles, maybe, then whatever it is goes away. It's an awesome opportunity and the variety is highly educational and a fantastic reference, but the tastes are so often extremely short. So when we get the opportunity for a fun and exotic long-termer like our 2007 Ducati 1098, we just don't want to give it up. We've customized and accessorized, become familiar on long rides and at trackdays to the point that it feels like one of the family. But the 10,000 miles are up and Ducati keeps calling to get its bike back. We've tried some minor prevarication: "Oh, it's not quite to 10K, so if we could just keep it another month..." Or, "Well, we don't have current studio photography and our shooters are pretty busy right now. Two weeks okay?" But they are getting pretty serious and even gave us a hard deadline. We've switched to "Out riding" on our voice mail; hey, as long as we're moving, they may never catch us! Unless they send somebody on an 1198...
