Photography by Robert Stokstad
Several years back, I was asked to judge the British class at a bike show, a good way to make one good friend and lots of enemies, but okay. On the scorecards, in small type down at the bottom, it said, “Motorcycles may be required to start at judge’s discretion.”
Well, I am nothing if not discreet, so after winnowing the entries down to the top three, off I went in search of the owners. I hate trailer queens.
One bike, a sanitary silver Norton restored by the late, great Walter Worsch, I knew was a runner. I’d been riding with Walter a few weeks prior. A pristine Vincent Black Shadow, freshly restored, was a bigger question.
“Will you please start your machine?” I asked the owner. Clearly upset, he ran off in search of the restorer, who returned looking a little miffed that I should ask such a thing. Taps on, one priming kick, another for real, and the Vinnie burst to life. “Thank you very much.”
Next and last, the most jaw-droppingly beautiful Triumph Bonneville I had ever seen, Aztec Bronze-and-White, if memory serves. All it had to do was make noise and it had the big trophy.
“Er, ahh, there’s no gasoline in the tank,” stammered the owner.
“I’m sure we can get a cupful or two,” I replied.
“Well, er, ahh, there’s no oil in the gearbox, either…”
“No oil?!”
“Yeah, I was told it would lessen the bike’s value if I put fluids in.”
What this man had was a painting, an investment, not a motorcycle. He got third that day and probably still curses my name.
Anyway, I was very happy to see that the Legend of the Motorcycle organizers strictly enforced their “bikes must start” rule this year. There were even motorized start-rollers for the racebikes. No combustion, no trophy, as it should be for an event that wants to be seen as the Pebble Beach of bike shows.
Kevin Cameron put it well in our September issue feature story about the Legend show, on newsstands now: “Without sound, this concours would be absurd as a wine-viewing—no wine is poured and none tasted.”
Or as that great philosopher Ted Nugent likes to say, “Let’s make some noise, people!!!”
